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True Love
I grew up with Christian parents but, they weren't really the type of role models a child should have growing up. I grew up with drinking, anger, lying, swearing, gossiping, and sometimes drugs were a very normal thing in my house. I soon started to drift away from my parents because the things they were doing were beginning to take a toll on my life.
Soon, that love and support that came from my parents was hardly noticable if at all in my house. But, I still longed to me loved. I still longed to be cared for.
I was in about the 3rd grade at this point and I suddenly realised - being popular means that everybody at school loves me. So, my friends and the choices I had to make to become popular became my entire life. I finally felt loved and accepted. These people would never let me down.
After a couple years I started swearing in every sentance,lying about everything, gossiping about everyone and always tried my hardest to get guys to like me and notice me. God had been gone from my life for so many years, I didn't even care what He thought anymore.
Soon, I became involved in sexuality, hatred, rebellion, and many other things that were always consuming my thoughts. I still wanted everybody to love me. I would do whatever it took.
Then, one year, I started to really like this guy in my class. He was popular, outgoing, good-looking ... what more could I ask for? But when I started to talk to him he told me that he was a Christian and believed that Jesus Christ came to die for his sins and for mine. Well, I told him the same. What was one little white lie?
But, everybody could tell that my Christianity thing was fake. I needed to make it seem more real. So, I began looking into it more. I started going back to Church on Sundays, going to my youth group again, I started listening to Christian music, reading Christian books and going to the Christian Bible camps I used to love so much.
Well, long story short, in the midst of trying to make this guy love me for being a Christian, somehow, by the grace of God, I fell in love with Jesus once again. About nine months ago, I commited my life to Christ.
I still struggle with trying to be the most popular one and I many times struggle with feeling unloved and uncared for. But the thing that keeps me going everyday is what I know in my heart. The true love, that thing I had been searching for, for so long, that true love comes from God alone.
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